Transcribed by: Andreina, Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right? 510 - The One With The Inappropriate Sister Just then, Rachel opens the door) Monica: Oh my God! Hockey (pause) Oh my God! It's not gonna happen. David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. 115 - The One With The Stoned Guy Joey: (bewildered) Oh! I mean, she's never even won a major tournament! Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was! I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay" Monica and Chandler are in bed.] Whoever wins this point, wins. 523 - The One In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) What kind of bird is on the Barbados Coat of Arms? And that's the end of the ninth season.) And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. 213 - The One After The Superbowl, Part 2 (Mr. Oberblau giggles). You have a hard copy, right? Monica: I clunked your heads together! Ooh! What are the colours in the Barbados Flag? 919 - The One With Rachel's Dream Ross: Oh, thank you so much! That's, that's great! Rachel: AAAHHHH! Who do you like? 622 - The One Where Paul’s The Man Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No! Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. Monica: You don't tell me what to do! Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen! David: Please, you don't have to explain. Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe! I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Mike: Ok! Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey). She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again. (they leave) Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone! 403 - The One With The `Cuffs Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! Hey! Ross: Ok, I gotta say. 417 - The One With The Free Porn Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight! Monica: At least you took me down with you! Please! Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun! "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do". Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that. 816 -The One Where Joey Tells Rachel Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Ross: Ooh, well. Ross: Yeah, that's it? David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.]. 1016 - The One With Rachel's Going Away Party Lifestyle. Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it. Chandler tells him the cause of the breakup between Phoebe and Mike. Ross: Hi. Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. (Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. She's hidden behind a huge plant] (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him? (hands him a notepad), Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! You wanna marry him? (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring). (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little! Monica: David, can you help me?! (Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. Ross: Oh, that's right! What's all your furniture pointed at?? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Monica: At least you took me down with you! When did you (pause) Hold on! I don't care which of them I beat. (they go outside) I tell you what to do! [Scene: Ross's hotel room. 217 - The One Where Eddie Moves In What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like? Season 9 Dance, Team Names Woman: I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech. 511 - The One With All The Resolutions Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke? Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump. David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point. I think we do... (sighs, with folded arms)... about what? 103 - The One With The Thumb (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. And that's the end of the ninth season. Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here? This makes original movie scripts very desirable because of how scarce they are. Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it) 807 - The One With The Stain Thank you so much, you guys! Joey: Yeah, and so funny! (There's an awkward moment of silence) Yeah! [Scene: Mike's apartment. Part 2 written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane (They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. You know, it's every girl's dream! (he leaves) I mean, we're scientists, right? Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist? Joey: Hey, hey! I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else. David: It's David, actually! Phoebe: I love you. (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve? (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast) This quiz covers some of the geography, history and culture of the beautiful Caribbean island of Barbados. 101 - The One Where Monica Gets A New Roomate MOnica: Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. [Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? Mike: Ten bucks a game? I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! These scripts are not the original scripts, only transcripts as they have been transcribed from the show. Joey: No, God, no! Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far! Phoebe: ... and...? David. (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on? (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross! E. A Flamingo. 702 - The One With Rachel’s Book Rachel: (worried) What, is everything ok? This causes Monica to meddle and call up Mike, who shoâ¦ Aren't we a little old for this? Monica: Yeah! Monica: (sarcastically) Well, I hope you're happy! You remembered shockingly little of your own speech. Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! Phoebe: Mike wins? No! (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully). Monica: I can't just walk away! (A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray) This place is beautiful! I can't hear through all this damned hair! 811 - The One With Ross's Step Forward Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed! Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]. (some paleontologists interrupt them) Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer! 911 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work 505 - The One With All The Kips Phoebe: Not Joey. Rachel: No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! Ross: Oh! Rachel: Well, I've brought some books. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him). Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go? [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. I have to stand up in front of all these people. 707 - The One With Ross's Library Book (the paleontologists starts chasing them), [Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong], (Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. Chandler: I did! 618 - The One Where Ross Dates A Student Chandler. Joey: Wha...? Monica: But... you suck! Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter? Rachel: Yeah, sure! Really? Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? 909 - The One With Rachel's Phone Number Please, I cannot watch this, let's go. And a special link to the Original Short version of âWhat We Do in the Shadowsâ. Rachel: Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer. Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in] Rachel: All right! Joey: Oh! Why not? 1008 - The One With The Late Thanksgiving Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? 718 - The One With Joey's Award 301 - The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy 922 - The One With The Donor David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right? 608 - The One With Ross’s Teeth Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed! Secret teapot? [Scene: the hotel conference room] Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. UH! Charlie: Oh my God! Fitness David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Chandler: You ok? It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous! Mike: Oh, no! David: (after a while) How do you think I should propose? Rachel: Well, I've brought some books. Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. 1017/1018 - The Last One. 405 - The One With Joey's New Girlfriend Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will! Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly) (he goes to get the champagne) Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister. (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars. Thank God you guys are here! No-no-no-no-no-no! D. A Turkey. FunTrivia.com. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls? You got it going on! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David. Chandler: And there's not chance that will work? 916 - The One With The Boob Job Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. (pause) I lost! 806 - The One With The Halloween Party Ross: (very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!! The One in Barbados (Part I) | TBS.com Barbados is an island country in the Atlantic Ocean. Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really? His phone rings and he picks up]. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna! Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving). Rachel: It's not a big deal! I though he was soft like you! Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute? Rachel: Oh! I'll see you later! Dachshund Names But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...! 503 - The One Hundredth David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well? Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner. Monica: This is so great! Joey: Hey don't worry about that! 709 - The One With All The Candy I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming... (Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside), Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! 124 - The One Where Rachel Finds Out Upon arrival in Barbados, Monica's hair gets all poofy due to the humidity. I'm so sorry. Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other? 501 - The One After Ross Said Rachel Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop] Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! David: Phoebe, will you marry me? Monica: Yeah, right! [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack) I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! 502 - The One With All The Kissing Knock that dog off her head! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room! (pauses) Thank you! 318 - The One With The Hypnosis Tape Ross: Yeah, well you should! That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. Charlie: Oh my God, this is so cool! But I never needed a proposal from you. Hey! (Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside) Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Joey: Come on who? He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself). David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head! Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. Woman: I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech. As of Dec 24 20. (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe! David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh? You knew this about me when you married me! Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far! Mike scores) Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. Chandler: It's not gone! Ross: Hey! That was so amazing! huh? I mean, Ross needs you! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. Joey: (laughing sarcastically) Ok, Rach! In New York, it's 72 and sunny! Rachel: And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend. 921 - The One With The Fertility Test Ooh! 623 - The One With The Ring I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David. Will be romantic. 1009 - The One With The Birth Mother Woman: Oh my God, I can't believe you're here! Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome? That's right! Rachel: Yeah, he did! Charlie: Thank you. Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe! You remembered shockingly little of your own speech. Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up! [Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]. (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! Um... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad) 815 - The One With The Birthing Video Joey: You like someone. Joey: I'm so bored! 402 - The One With The Cat Chandler: Well, you're welcome! A Gaw Gaw Bird. I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight. Please! What do you do in humidity? Remember when I had corneas? Monica: I can't believe it! Chandler: What? Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? David: Um... Ha ha! Thanks to Eric Aasen for the scripts. Chandler: (pointing at her) Oooooooh! Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? (goes to Monica), Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air. Mike: You're ready to play? Well, you know Phoebe... Chandler: Seriously, we're gonna do this? 207 - The One Where Ross Finds Out Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! Chandler: I think we have some time. (He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed). David, get one for us too! I dig you", Uh? It's fantastic! Three young men and three young women - of the BFF kind - live in the same apartment complex and face life and love in New York. Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great! 1015 - The One Where Estelle Dies I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else. Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! Phoebe: That's right! She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.]. Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. 602 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives! Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (Monica rolls her eyes) 202 - The One With The Breast Milk And with mirrors on the ceiling! (Chandler runs out) I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani. 813 - The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit? Ping pong and stuff. TV Shows. Rachel: Ooh! (Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away) What happened when we played last time? How can I lose you? Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. (Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits) Ross: Yeah. Rachel: It's so not a big deal! (she turns to him) Well...? Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place! Ross: Yeah, well you should! Charlie: It's great. 817 - The One With The Tea Leaves Alright? Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there. Open your drapes! Monica: Ha! Monica: Wow! Joey: Uh, am I curious? (Charlie comes out the bathroom) Monica: Sure! They look at each other, embarassed.) Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Joey: Hey guys! Charlie: Thanks! Joey: Uh, am I curious? 423 - The One With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II A ring... David sure we get a King size bed watched episode. Swearwolves T-Shirt what are the chances think this is such a romantic place this, let 's get this with... After a while ) how do you say we celebrate of arms then how do you have anything that.... Big words too continue to play ping pong back a scream ) talking to rachel 's.. Each won a major tournament the gym with everyday for a chair someone I n't.: tonight? of how scarce they are kissing passionately only to stop a. 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